As we enter May, the season of renewal invites us to face one of the most intimidating stages of the recovery journey: Step Five. While this step is often dreaded or avoided because of the weight of past guilt, it is a vital mechanism for "clearing away the wreckage" and moving forward with a lighter burden. This month, we explore how to transform fear into a companion by enlisting allies - both a likeable Higher Power and a trusted human being - to help us gain a more balanced and forgiving self-image.
My hope is that these reflections help you realize that by continuing the steps you have taken, you can experience relief and hope today.
"We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs"
The twelve-step program is intimidating, but probably no step is more dreaded than step five. It is often delayed or avoided altogether, typically resulting in a return to drinking. It is because alcoholics are guilt-ridden individuals that the steps are necessary to “clear away the wreckage of the past” and move on in life with a lighter burden. It is because of a troubled mind that alcoholics return to drinking, more than for any other reason. The fifth step provides a mechanism for release of the worst of these troubles, and if thorough, provides the journeyer with a more balanced and forgiving self-image.
I like to think of addiction recovery as a heroic journey, one in which the traveler is presented with intimidating challenges that can only be faced and overcome with help from others. With the fifth step ....
This is an exercise in self-forgiveness. Sit quietly and breathe easily. Allow yourself to relax. Once comfortable think about a matter that you feel guilty or shameful about. Now think about the changes in your life that you have made on your journey to becoming a better person. Understand that whatever you said or did, or didn’t say or do, was the product of all your life experiences up until that time. Now think about whether today you would have handled the situation differently. If you feel guilt or shame while thinking about these things, return to your breathing and let the feelings go as you exhale. Feel grateful that you have a path of recovery to follow each day. Deep-seated regret won’t go away overnight, but by continuing with the steps you have taken thus far, you realize that today you can experience some relief. And you can be hopeful that as time goes on you can release the bad thoughts about yourself and become joyful.
The same practice can be used to deal with resentments, the goal being to forgive the person whom you believe harmed you, and to forgive yourself for whatever part you played in the situation.
My Blog - The Science of Loss of Control
In 1973 I gave my first lecture on the disease concept of alcoholism to a group of patients in treatment in Janesville, Wisconsin. The material I drew on for the talk was the scientific literature on the subject at the time, my study of the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) program, and my clinical experience working with patients. I should mention that in four years of medical school I had only one lecture on addiction. A guest lecture was delivered by Dr. Harris Isbell, then director of the federal addiction research and treatment facility in Lexington, Kentucky. I actually remember one thing that he said that day .....
“The only true forgiveness…is that which is preceded by insight and fueled by compassion.”
- William Alexander
On the Bookshelf - The Urge: Our History of Addiction by Carl Erik Fisher
This book is an excellent source of information on the history of addiction, starting with the mention of a poem, the Gambler’s Lament, found in the Rig Veda, a collection of sacred Hindu writings composed between around 1500 and 1000 BCE. The book takes us through epidemics such as the Gin Craze in England starting around 1700, the heavy rum consumption during American Revolutionary times, and the opiate addiction epidemic currently underway. He talks about the battle between “wets and drys,” those who want to control the harms to people and to society by prohibition, or alternatively....
As the journey continues, I remain dedicated to sharing the "Heroic Journey" framework with groups, staff, and individuals seeking a deeper understanding of the recovery process. My workshops are designed to help travelers face intimidating challenges by enlisting the right allies and finding the courage to move forward. Current Offerings:
Keynote Speaking: For recovery conferences and events.
Staff Training: For clinical teams on the Heroic Journey model.
Reflective Groups: Facilitated sessions for adults and adolescents in recovery.Interested in having me speak or lead a workshop?
Exciting News for Summer 2026: I am thrilled to announce that some of my books will be featured on In The Rooms, the global recovery community website, this summer. This partnership allows us to reach a wider audience of journeyers, and I look forward to sharing more details with you soon.
If this message spoke to you, share it with someone who may need it. We heal in community. This month, take a moment to reflect. Gently and honestly. That’s where change begins.
Until next time, walk gently, with courage.
— Mike
Dr. Michael Cowl Gordon, Black Magic Ln, Marietta, GA 30064
