Welcome to the September newsletter. As we continue on the heroic journey of recovery, we arrive at perhaps the most demanding threshold of all: Step Nine. Making direct amends requires us to step away from the safety net of our supportive recovery circles and face the people who were subjected to our past behaviors. Naturally, anticipating these conversations can bring up a great deal of anxiety—which, at its core, is simply fear that stays with a person. This month, we discuss how to manage that fear using the Serenity Prayer, accepting what we cannot change while finding the courage to change what we can. We are also reviewing Glenn F. Chesnut’s book, The Higher Power of the Twelve-Step Program for Believers and Non-Believers, which offers excellent, open-minded guidance for anyone struggling to move past childhood religious beliefs to find a workable higher power. I hope these resources help you find the willingness to step into the cave and claim the treasure of a purposeful life.
“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
We have looked at, over the past several months, the fact that courage is called for on the heroic journey of recovery. We now arrive at the most demanding step of all, where we must step away from the safety net of people who have been directly supporting our recovery journey to facing those people who were subjected to our uncontrolled addictive behavior. Thus far we have dealt with understanding supportive people who, by and large, tell us they did the same heinous things that we have admitted to. But now we must face the ex-boss, the ex-spouse, the current spouse or significant other, our kids, our parents, neighbors, and others who were caught up in our selfish, thoughtless, destructive behavior.
What is it that we say to them? We admit to them when and in what way we have injured them. The damage may have been financial, to a relationship, lies told, work-related dishonesty, gossiping, various ways of acting out anger, including holding resentments, or other means of harm. These are....
Of the many people whom I encounter in the course of my life, most are anxious, whether it is obvious to others or not. Of the few who may not struggle with anxiety, they still experience fear on a daily basis. (If you don’t believe me, take a drive in your car.) The difference is that such people seem to have developed tools to deal with their fear as it arises, in such a way that they don’t hold on to the fear. Anxiety is nothing more (or less) than fear that stays with a person. The twelve-step recovery programs have adopted a prayer composed originally by Reinhold Niebuhr, a twentieth-century American Protestant theologian. The first sentence of the prayer reads, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom....
“Alcohol…. leads to decisions that generally reek of booze and regret.” - Tom Greene
“A pessimist is a person who finds a problem in every opportunity, and an optimist is a person who finds an opportunity in every problem.” - Winston Churchill
"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”-Joseph Campbell
On the Bookshelf - The Higher Power of the Twelve-Step Program for Believers and Non-Believers by Glenn F. Chesnut
This is an excellent book that offers readers useful information about things to think about when approaching the idea of a higher power. Dr. Chesnut emphasizes that when considering this idea, people need to keep an open mind. He thinks that whatever childhood impression of God one brings to the program needs to be abandoned. He says, “My first observation is that no one---absolutely no one---learns to work the twelve-step program well, who has not cut the umbilical cord connecting them with their childhood religious beliefs.” He goes on to say, “You learn the A.A. spiritual program by going to A.A. meetings and actually doing...."
I speak on addiction recovery as a heroic journey and deeply enjoy discussing the topic of seeking a higher power. By reframing struggle as a call to adventure, purpose, and transformation, my talks offer a path forward grounded in lived experience, clinical perspective, and the spiritual principles of the twelve steps.
Recently, I had the privilege of sitting down with a group of thirty dedicated dental professionals to discuss The Twelve Step Pathway. We explored the deep need to reframe the recovery process - shifting it from an intimidating checklist into an active, empowering adventure to rescue your own story. By passing out visual maps of the heroic journey, our group was able to chart the common roadblocks we all face and discuss practical ways to step past them. Because addiction and the need for emotional healing touch every corner of our society, it is a profound honor to connect with professional communities to discuss how we can better support ourselves and the people we treat.
Programs can be tailored for:
• Treatment centers and recovery programs • Mental health and behavioral health professionals • Faith-based communities • Veterans groups • Civic and community organizations
Events may be held in person or virtually.
If you would like to explore a speaking engagement, simply reply to this newsletter or reach out through my website. I welcome the conversation.
Please remember that making amends and managing life's anxieties are not tasks you must face alone. Whether you are preparing for a difficult Step Nine conversation or navigating an unexpected life challenge, always lean on the wise counsel of a sponsor, a therapist, or a trusted friend. If you know someone who might benefit from an open door and a quiet companion this month, please pass this newsletter along to them.
Until next time, walk gently, with courage. — Mike
Dr. Michael Cowl Gordon, Black Magic Ln, Marietta, GA 30064
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